Gossip Is His Coffee
by Darkmoonphase
Summary: I am anonymous. I write the gossip for our school paper. Everyone believes me. But when I finally write something true…I could become known. CraigXTweek/High school
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Gossip Is His Coffee**

**Author: **_Darkmoonphase _

**Summary: **_I am anonymous. I write the gossip for our school paper. Everyone believes me. But when I finally write something true…I could become known. CraigXTweek_

**Rated: **_T because I'm paranoid like that. And it has Craig and Cartman in it. Duh._

**Disclaimer/Credits: **_South Park was created and written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I did not come up with these characters that I am using. The idea of this story was originally done by __Paperleaf__. Their story __that this is based off of __is, "Rumors at South Park High". Please, go check out their story, it's awesome. And read some of their other stories as well. I like their stuff._

**Pairings: **_The one that's main that I'll let slip because a) it's painfully obvious and b) I put it in the summary is: Craig and Tweek. If I decide that the others are too obvious as well, I'll give them away eventually. But if I do this right, they should be a surprise._

**~…~**

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**~…~**

**Chapter One: My School**

I walked into the school, twitching and shaking like usual. But today, I was excited. I went up to where the Student Body Officers were handing papers out happily. They'd probably already read the latest gossip. I took one and flipped it to the page titled, "Gossip Group". I walked away giggling. Today's paper had a picture of Stan and Kyle hugging and the article told of their supposed intimate relationship. I grinned and tucked the paper away into my backpack, giddy with the results. Students passed me, whispering and sniggering among themselves. There was a sudden shout from a group by a table in the lunchroom. Stan was staring in horror at the paper while Kyle was just standing there numbly. Cartman was laughing hysterically and Kenny looked extremely pissed. I wondered why. The results were better than I'd imagined, though. I walked over to them innocently and asked, "What's wrong?" It was my job. They still didn't know that I was the one who wrote all the gossip – a lot of work coming from my end. It made me laugh.

"Have you seen this?!" Stan cried shoving his paper into my face. I pushed the paper away and fluttered mine in front of his face after pulling it back out. "It's horrible. I can't believe Anonymous wrote this!" He paused, looking thoughtful. "It's almost worse than the one on Butters and Cartman…"

I almost laughed. I'd forgotten about that one. I'd have to go find it and reread it. It was, after all, one of my favorite stories. "You're only upset because it's about you," I point out with a twitch. Ironically, I twitched just as he gave me a death glare. "I know that if Anonymous wrote something about me, I'd be upset too." This was true, except that I am Anonymous and I'm not really creative enough to write something about myself. Of course, I knew I'd have to eventually or everyone would start pointing fingers.

Kyle finally snapped out of his stupor and dropped the paper he was holding like it was on fire. "Stan's just my friend! Whoever Anonymous is, they really don't know us very well." I thought about this briefly. It was only a partly true statement since I spent most of my time with Craig, Token and Clyde. I mean, seriously, getting involved with these guys was a dangerous move. But the little time I did spend with them told me that Stan and Kyle really were just friends. That's the fun of gossip though. You can tell complete lies and everyone believes you. "Anonymous is getting annoying, coming out with all these stories..."

"They aren't very farfetched stories, mind you," Clyde interrupted with a smug smile on his face. "I see you two making googley eyes at each other every time you see each other. And they even had proof this time! That's what makes this story so true…" I twitched a few times, feeling the paranoia sweep over me. I hadn't even seen him come near us. If he could sneak up on me, just imagine who else could. And what if they were armed…?

Stan sighed in frustration. "Clyde, you believe every gossip story out there. Remember that one about Butters and Cartman? How it turned out to be a lie? Remember how disappointed you were? And they had a picture. How ironic, huh?" I remembered that one. I still felt sorry for Butters. I hadn't realized how violent Cartman truly could be.

Clyde scoffed. "Well…But still!" How lame. He really couldn't think of anything better to say?

"Hey, Tweek!" Craig cried from behind me, poking me in the sides. I jump-spun to see him snickering at me. "You should really stay on your guard. You never know who could sneak up on you…" He trailed off with a suggestive smirk. My hand jerked. He was right. And I'd been thinking about that just moments ago! Craig disturbed me sometimes. "So…Stan and Kyle on the hot seats today, huh? Not surprising. The only thing we haven't seen you do yet is kiss."

"You're almost as bad as Cartman!" Kyle groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "What are you guys? Mindless gossip zombies? Most of the stuff written in there are lies!" I gulped and my shoulder twitched. I did just make stuff up as I saw them. I liked people's reactions. That was the best part of being Anonymous. Kyle lifted his head with a horrified expression. I wondered what he was thinking.

Cartman walked up grinning and Kyle almost screamed. Oh. "Well, well, well…Their secret's out. I do applaud Anonymous' work this time. They really outdid themselves," he cooed sadistically. I was almost disappointed that he hadn't learned his lesson yet. I'd have to work on another story for him soon. That would make his fourth. I'd thought that after I wrote the third one, he'd have stopped messing with people but his freak-outs only lasted a few hours – a day or two at most. He really didn't learn.

My lower lip trembled involuntarily as I yawned. That was really annoying. "Did you sleep at all last night, Tweek?" Craig asked curiously, turning his attention to me. Damn, now everyone in the group was staring at me.

"Not really." I was lying through my teeth. I wondered if anyone would ever figure it out. "I was up really late working on a report. One for English. I got it out of a sophomore in our class who's repeating." I really hoped that there was a project – one that I could do quickly tonight so my friends didn't catch on.

"There's a sophomore in your class?" Kenny asked, sneaking up on me. I yelped and spun again. He laughed; doubling over as he slowly ran out of breath. "You're such a spaz, Tweek!" My body convulsed as he said this. Why did he have to be right? "So you've heard the written news, but did you hear about Wendy and Bebe?" We shook our heads and turned our attention to him. "They broke up! Wendy was accusing Bebe of cheating on her with Rebecca. They never really denied it so Wendy totally broke it off with her."

We all gasped. I felt pretty bad for Wendy. After all, I'd been the one who'd gotten them together – with my gossip of course. So I felt partly responsible. If I hadn't written about them, Wendy wouldn't have gotten hurt in the end. Maybe I could set her up with Heidi…"Tweek! Earth to Tweek!" I snapped back to reality to see Clyde waving his hand in front of my face. I gave him a questioning look and he sighed. "Man, you really got to stop zoning. I asked if you've had your coffee yet because you're twitching more than usual…"

As he spoke, my hand had a spasm. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. "Nope. I was in a hurry today so I couldn't stop and get some," I told him as I dropped my hand again. My friends knew me way too well. The bell rang, signaling for everyone to be inside the school now. The minute bell would ring in another five minutes. I waved to my friends and said, "I have to get going. See you guys later!" And I took off down the halls toward my locker, desperate to get away from them. I was getting closer and closer to having them find out who Anonymous was.

**~…~**

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**~…~**

When school was finally out, I shuffled to the bus. I had no idea who I was going to write a rumor about now. I'd written one about almost everyone in the school – except the teachers; they were next, when I thought of something to say about them. There was Butters, Craig, Token and Damien left. Butters' had to wait. I knew what his was going to be about, but I had to wait for until Stan and Kyle "broke-up" before I could start on his. I didn't really want to do Craig's, though I'd have to eventually – for the same reasons that I had to do my own. Token's was going to be hard. I stepped onto the bus and took my usual seat by Craig who grunted a greeting that I didn't respond to. The only one left after my big process of elimination was Damien. And what could I say about him that no one already knew? He was really a zombie? Yeah, 'cause that was so believable.

When the bus finally pulled up to my stop, I had an idea for Damien.

_Damien's Christian. Sad, because his dad's Satan. But what can you do after getting exorcised 3,000,000 times and having people on your case constantly trying to convert you? When you've got no friends, shouldn't you do what you can to get them to like you? Well, Satan's son ran out of options. I wonder where he'll go when he dies…_

_~Anonymous_

It's not my best piece of work, but it'll do. If only Damien hadn't spilled all his secrets back in fourth grade…Maybe I'd have more options. And if only there was someone I could pair him with. I sighed and saved the article under "The Gothic Christian". Boy, was that a contradictory statement. I turned off the monitor and pushed away from my desk after pressing print. I went to the printer and waited for the paper to pop out. When I had it, I folded it several times and put it on top of my dresser.

I went to my bookshelf next, pulled out a notebook and then went to my bed with a pencil from my desk. After flipping to a fresh page, I started writing. I wrote about Craig and me and how everyone was mindless zombies. I got lost in it. It was nice. I think I even forgot to twitch. When I was done, I ripped out the page, folded it several times and dropped it on my dresser next to the other piece of paper as I walked out of my room to go have dinner with my parents.

**~…~**

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**~…~**

"Whoa!"

"Do you really think it could be him?"

"Nah…They're just friends!"

What were they talking about? I'd done an article about Damien being Christian. They shouldn't have been asking those questions.

"You know, it could be Clyde. He's always hanging out with Craig."

_Huh?_

"Clyde's not in love with Craig though."

"Why would Tweek be?"

_No way._ I ran over to the table where the student body was handing out the papers. They all gave me suggestive grins as one handed me a paper. I took it with shaky hands and ignored their stares. I turned to the page labeled, "Gossip Group" and walked away reading the article in horror.

"And why would Clyde write something about himself? Besides, it doesn't even sound like him."

I came to a stop by a lunch table where my friends, Kyle and his friends, Butters and a collection of other kids were talking about the paper. My hands started to violently shake and it took all I had not to scream, "NO!"

"Hey, Tweek…" Damien started menacingly, walking over to me. He didn't look happy. Maybe it was a good thing that I hadn't published that article about him. But still…what went wrong? "Did you write this?" The others turned to stare – Craig among them.

My heart fluttered. "No. Why would I?"

"It had to have been someone within one of our groups!" Craig spat angrily. "I'm gunna _kill_ whoever wrote this shit!" My stomach dropped and I thought I might cry.

"But who would have known?" Stan asked, worriedly looking at Kyle and Kenny who were refusing to look at each other.

"Anyone with eyes," I retorted, spinning on my heel and walking away while I battled my flaring emotions. This could be the end of Anonymous. This could be the end of _me_.

**~…~**

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**~…~**

**Craig & Anonymous?!**

_Craig is wonderful. He can be mean and, sometimes, just downright cruel. But, you know, there's something about him that I really like – besides the fact that he's hot. After knowing him for more than a few years, there's something only I can see in him._

_Do you know what's funny? Is all those rumors – well, almost all of them – have been fake and everyone in the school soaks them up like it's the air they breathe. It's really funny. I could write anything about Craig and everyone would believe me. But I can't. It's just not an option for me. As much as I may want to…It's not as easy as saying that Stan and Kyle are together when Kyle's obviously dating Kenny and Stan's dating Wendy! Or saying that Damien likes Butters when Cartman really does and Damien likes Christophe (which I think is hilarious)._

_And what really bothers me about being Anonymous is everyone reads my gossip but they don't know who I am. As useful as that can be, what if I wanted to say something important – like this! Craig would never know that it's me! I want to tell him…but he's too unpredictable and he likes Butters. (Oh! A love triangle!) Sometimes I wish I'd never come up with that stupid "Gossip Group"! It sounds like a freaking knitting corner anyway!_

_I just want to be me again. Not someone everyone wants to know. I want to tell Craig how I feel and…I wish all these stupid rumors weren't a necessity in this school!_

_Crud. And I still have to write something about Tweek. Ha-ha. That never gets old. Silly, gullible, kidlings!_

**~…~**

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**~…~**

**Author's Note: **_I actually thought that this was going to be out later because I was going to finish another story that is unfinished, but decided against it because I want to get it out there already._

_I personally think it was a bit fast paced for an intro chapter (and short) but tell me what you think anyway? I'd appreciate the feedback. Again, I want to thank __Paperleaf__ for their consent and urge you to go read their story. _

_Thank-you for reading and please review._


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Gossip Is His Coffee**

**Chapter Two: Consequences**

**Disclaimer: South Park was created and written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I did not come up with these characters that I am using. The idea of this story was originally done by ****Paperleaf****. Their story that this is based off of is, "Rumors at South Park High". Please, go check out their story, it's awesome. And read some of their other stories as well. I like their stuff. (Isn't 'copy and paste' just a fabulous little invention?)**

**Author's Note: **_There seems to have been some confusion about the last chapter – although most of you seemed to get it at the end of your reviews…So, to relieve you of your misunderstanding, yes, Tweek did write the article at the end of the chapter and he did accidentally swap the two articles. _

_Helpful? Hope you enjoy this chapter._

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"Tweek," Wendy called after me softly. I spun, ready to chew her out. But two things crossed my mind at that precise moment and in exactly this order: _I'd have Stan to deal with. It's not her fault anyway… _"If you're not Anonymous, do you know who is?"

I could have caved. I could have gotten it over with but I remembered what Craig had said moments ago: "I'm gunna _kill_ whoever wrote this shit!" I felt my lower lip tremble and I shook my head, much to Wendy's disappointment. "Even if I did, I wouldn't have told them anything." My secrets…My friends' secrets…I hadn't meant for them to get out like this. I wasn't going to tell anyway!

"I know," Wendy assured kindly. "I was just thinking is all…" She turned and went over to Stan. At least I hadn't wrecked their relationship. I wish I hadn't trashed Kenny and Kyle's. Then a new thought struck me. Where was Christophe? Maybe I'd pissed him off…

Hesitantly, I turned from my friends again and went to my locker. It wouldn't open when I spun in the combination – twice. I hit it, using my frustration as a back-up. I really wish I hadn't become Anonymous. I tried my combination again and my locker swung open, hitting me in the face. "Gah! This sucks!" I screamed, kicking the locker below mine.

"Respect school property, young man," a passing teacher snapped tonelessly. I ground my teeth together. Could today get _any worse_?! I started going through all the shit in my locker, looking for my history book in vain. _Hey, my day just got worse._ I remembered that my text book was sitting on my desk at home – along with my finished homework assignment. I let out a frustrated shout. I grabbed a book to read, shoved it into my backpack, and slammed my locker shut. What had I done to deserve such a crappy day? Hadn't I gotten enough bad days in my lifetime to pick up seven people's slack? I walked soundlessly down the hall and out the back doors. I might as well get a U in citizenship along with the F I knew I was going to get. And I might as well do it with style too.

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**~…~**

"Sluffing?" my mom cried, sounding horrified – though I wasn't sure if the horror was directed at herself or me. "I thought you were better than that!" I flinched. Damn, the school was fast.

"We didn't raise you to behave like this!" my dad agreed angrily. He was obviously mad at me. I hung my head and let my smile show. They sounded like Butters' parents (I'd only been there once in 6th grade…I hadn't gone back though). Now I knew how Butters felt: Like crap. "I can't believe you." _Just don't take away my coffee, please. _

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again," I told them sincerely. After a lot of yelling, I finally walked outside and sat on the porch. I sighed loudly and folded my arms over my knees, resting my head on them. I hadn't anticipated my parents' reaction – which was very stupid of me.

"Hey, Tweek. Your parents busy or something?" Craig asked casually, walking over to me and sitting down on the sidewalk. It was like this morning's hissy-fit hadn't even happened. He stared up at me with his beautiful blue eyes. I almost laughed. He hadn't really changed much over the years, only getting cuter. And angrier…

"No. I sluffed history and now they're freaking out. I can't stand to hear them scream right now," I told him, burying my face in my hands in frustration. "It's too much pressure." Actually, I hadn't changed much either.

Craig's eyes widened and he opened his mouth a little, letting it hang there for a moment before snapping it shut. "_You _sluffed a class?" I nodded. "Wow…That's wicked cool, Tweek." I smiled and we sat there for a minute in a peaceful silence. It made me wonder what kind of crazy trouble Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman were up to. "Tweek..." Craig suddenly started and I turned my attention back to him. "You never told us what you thought about the article. Whoever it was mentioned that they had to write a story about you next." He stared at me apprehensively.

I sighed. What did he expect me to say? What would I have done if I'd written one about me? "I don't really care, actually. It's all just bullshit in the end," I replied as nonchalantly as I could manage. The thing that bothered me was he thought someone else had written the article; he thought someone else was in love with him. It made me sick to imagine who he might think it was. "They're just rumors, after all."

Craig stared at me, his eyes wide like he hadn't expected my reaction to be so mild. After a moment, he blinked and nodded. "You're right…I guess. But come on! What would you have done if someone had written some love crap about you?" I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. I don't think I'd expected anything different from him but I still felt the sting.

"I think I'd be flattered," I all but spat. This was ridiculous! Our reactions, I mean, were so harsh. I hadn't really expected much from my friend but it was still hard not to be angry at him. "Let's talk about something else now, okay?" I requested, trying not to sound so furious this time. If I couldn't keep my emotions out of my voice, everyone would know by the end of the week that I'd written the article.

"Why'd you sluff math?" Craig asked curiously, tilting his head like a confused puppy. I couldn't help but smile. "What?" He smiled back cautiously.

I shook my head. "Nothing. I sluffed because I'd forgotten my text book and homework again. I'm almost positive that I'm getting an F in that class…" I trailed off, remembering how upset my dad was last time I'd gotten an F. I should've thought through skipping before-hand.

"I'm getting F's in four of my seven classes," Craig mused in a wondering tone. "Oh yeah! Did you want a U with that F?" He laughed at his joke. It wasn't all that funny because it was true but I laughed along with him. "Damn, Tweek, I didn't know you had it in you to do something like that."

"What? You think I'm Butters?" I snorted. "You need a reality check, Craig." It'd been awhile since we'd just sat and joked around. School had kind of strained our relationship – high school, that is. I thought we were patching up nicely. But this just showed me how much I missed "the good old days". It made me kind of sad.

"Whatever. Hey, what time is it? I forgot my cell on my bedside table again," Craig whined, leaning back a little. _He'd only gotten cuter over the years…_

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I pulled out my cell phone. "Four," I told him, shoving my cell back into my pocket. "You in a hurry?"

"Not really. My parents are just being asses again and want me home before five. They gave me the dumb curfew after they found out that Clyde and I had set that old building by the church on fire," Craig explained with a short laugh. "It was totally worth it. I wish you could've seen it, Tweek. It was so pretty." _And this moment has been brought to you by my pyromaniac friend…_

"You were the ones who set it on fire?" I asked, amazed. He nodded with a grin on his face. I felt like I was missing something important. "But it was scheduled for demo anyway…"

"Yeah, but they – by they, I mean everyone in town – were really pissed because it was so close to the church." He made a mock horrified expression and joked, "Oh no! The building made out of bricks might get scorch marks on it!" He snorted. "It's stupid."

"If I asked your opinion on everything, it'd all be stupid," I told him in an exasperated tone. "Did you finish your book report?" He shook his head. "I did. I just hope that I don't forget it tomorrow."

Craig jumped up with sudden urgency. "It's due tomorrow?!" he cried in horror. I nodded, startled. "Crap! I have to go home and get it done so my dad doesn't get mad at me for getting another F." He sprinted off, waving at me over his shoulder. I laughed as I watched him run off. My laughter died down, though, when the wind whistled past my face and made me shiver. I wondered what the other students would think when Anonymous disappeared.

**~…~**

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**~…~**

"Ugh! This is so lame!" someone cried by the school newspaper stands.

"Shut-up and take a newspaper!" one of the kids handing out the papers shouted, shoving one into the kid's chest.

"Uh…No thanks!" She handed the paper back and walked away. I couldn't believe it. My gossip was all these people lived for. People who had taken the paper unknowingly were walking around talking to each other angrily. I didn't feel any better about my situation though. I went over to my friends, suddenly drained.

"Hey, Tweek," Clyde said enthusiastically. "How's things?" I shrug, sitting down in one of the lunchroom chairs. "You're not twitching," he muttered in terror. "Something's wrong. What's wrong?!"

I made a grumbling noise that even I couldn't understand, then sighed and tried again. "I was having nightmares all night," I told him, my eyes slowly shutting. And that was partly true except that I was worrying even longer before I started having the nightmares.

"Underwear gnomes?" Clyde asked with false sympathy. I glared up at him angrily. He put his hands up and grinned at me. "Sorry, dude. Forget I said anything."

"Done," I mumbled, dropping my face into my hands. I needed to cheer up. I wasn't Anonymous to them. And how many more excuses could I muster up before they all realized that I _was_ actually Anonymous and that I'd been lying to them for over a year now? Oh man. I needed to forget that I was ever Anonymous and get on with life. If I didn't, I was going to be in a lot of trouble.

"Tweek, you okay?" Craig asked softly. I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Aw, he's probably upset about Anonymous's absence – just like every other idiot around here," Cartman declared with a loud cackle.

I looked up at him; actually, I was trying to glare but it didn't even feel like I was. "I didn't know you worshipped Anonymous, Cartman," I snorted, standing up. I opened my mouth to imply that I'd talk to "Anonymous" about his disappearance but then snapped it shut when common sense kicked in. I dropped back into my seat.

"I don't," Cartman spat angrily. "I hate Anonymous. He's humiliated me so many times, it's not even funnah!"

"Uh…Maybe because you deserved it?" Kyle suggested rudely, smiling smugly. "Cartman, remember all those articles Anonymous wrote? Remember how you freaked out and then a few days later, you just laughed it off and continued doing what Anonymous had ridiculed you for?" Cartman opened his mouth to protest but Kyle wasn't done. "And poor Butters! You totally blew him off after that article about him liking you – even when he proved it _right_! You're an ass, Cartman. Anonymous was giving you what you deserve. I at least respect them for that." I felt my lips twitch, a smile forming as I tried to hold it back. Kyle _respected_ me!

"Great speech, but you're wrong," Cartman snapped. We were all silent, waiting for him to back-up his statement somehow. A minute passed before he realized what the silence was for. He quickly became angry and flustered, only managing to scream, "You're wrong, Kahl!" Then he turned and stormed off. Kyle just rolled his eyes.

"So, you're okay then?" Craig asked me almost smugly. I nodded, deciding that it would be best if I just kept my mouth shut for awhile. He smiled but seemed unable to do much more.

The minute bell rang and we all dispersed. I was walking toward my locker when someone caught me by my shoulder, spinning me. When I was facing my captor, my eyes widened. "Uh…hi, Christophe…" Said boy sighed, shaking his head like he was frustrated. "Do you need something?" I asked in a shaky voice. He and Damien both intimidated me. I couldn't sound as strong as I wanted to. He looked at me, suddenly serious.

"Not yet. But if my assumptions are correct, you may be of some use to me yet," Christophe murmured, his eyes narrow and his heavily accented voice threatening. We stood in silence for a moment – as he hadn't released my shoulder yet. I could feel my heartbeat speed up as each second passed. Suddenly, the tardy bell rang and he let go of my shoulder with a smile. "We'll see who's right," he whispered and walked around me. I sighed loudly and all but ran to my first class, completely ignoring the fact that I'd left my text book in my locker and my teacher had clearly specified that we'd need them.

**~…~**

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**~…~**

During lunch, I checked my grades. According to the computer, I wasn't doing so well. B's, C's and an F – absolutely no A's to make it look better. I sighed and closed the page. _There goes my coffee privileges_, I thought and stood up, grabbing my backpack from the floor. The school library was actually really small but it was also very awkward. It was the way it was shaped that really attracted students – that and the chance to get on the internet. There were several small corners that freshmen and sophomore students used when they wanted to sluff because they didn't have junior and senior friends that could drive them around. It was from one of these corners that I heard several giggles. Whoever it was obviously didn't want to get caught and that's what almost kept me away. But morbid curiosity made me go look anyway.

I cautiously wandered over to where I heard the giggling and suppressed a gasp when I saw who it was. It wasn't just one person but _two._ And those two people were Kyle and Stan who were in an "inappropriate" pose as they kissed passionately. I backed away quietly and hit a bookshelf. "What the…" Stan muttered. I turned and fled from the library. _I knew it! _I screamed in my head. I had had it right and they'd covered it up! One of my articles had actually been true and even though people somewhat believed it, they'd covered it up with lies to make it look fake – to make Anonymous look dumb. Was Kyle really dating Kenny? And what about Stan and Wendy? I finally stopped to think. What should I do? I could bring out that old article – but I hadn't kept a copy of the actual newspaper. Besides, it would look weird.

"Tweek, what are you doing?" I jumped slightly and turned to face Clyde. I sighed hugely and shrugged. "Well…Come on then. Kenny's been waiting…" I followed him back to the lunchroom silently, twitching and jerking like the freak I knew I was. _What if it really is just a cover-up and Wendy and Kenny are in on it, too?_ I thought reasonably. _Was Stan ashamed? But what would Kyle's excuse be? _"Have you seen Marsh and Brovloski? They haven't shown up yet," Clyde told me, interrupting my confusing thoughts.

"No, I haven't seen them since math," I replied quietly as we walking into the chaos that was lunch. He glanced over his shoulder and then went back to concentrating on where he was going. Kenny was standing by Cartman and Butters, impatiently tapping his foot; Craig was slumped over the lunch table, looking like he was about to fall asleep; Token was tapping his fingers on the table. I wandered up, ready for a lot of yelling, just as Kyle and Stan walked in from the opposite end. Stan was _pissed_. I twitched hugely and hurried over to the table, desperately trying not to look like I was hiding and failing.

"Hey, Tweek," Stan greeted through gritted teeth. I literally cowered this time. It was freaky. I didn't know that he could sound so threatening.

Kenny ignored our exchange and walked over to the table. "Thanks for taking so fucking long," he snapped sarcastically, looking thoughtful. "But, whatever; let's get on with it." He pulled out several envelopes that were rubber banded together from his backpack and waved them in front of our faces. "Spring break's coming up…My mom's letting me throw a party next Friday. You're all invited." We all looked at each other uncertainly. Kenny could throw some wicked parties but, even though his mom had gotten a better job so they could afford more stuff, we were still a little wary. His house hadn't gotten any safer. "Oh yeah; did I mention that I'm taking you to Denver for three nights of hardcore partying?"

We all jumped and started screaming and cheering. When things settled down a little, Kyle looked at Kenny and asked, "Where'd you get the money to afford this?"

"Turns out, one of my uncles in California has been holding out on us. My mom turned to him for help with bills and he overloaded us with cash. On that same note, my aunt – the one married to him – works as a pilot for an airport and she pulled some strings, got us all on for free." Kenny looked extremely proud of himself. "All you need is your school ID's to prove you're identities – or license; whichever you have." He was looking at me as if he thought I'd lost one or the other. I crossed my arms and glared at him until he turned and started handing out invites. I was a little surprised when Pip got an invite, too. Kenny hated Pip…At least, I'd always thought he did. I received my invite and looked down at it, grinning.

What a perfect way to just loosen up and forget about life for awhile.

**~…~**

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**~…~**

**Author's Note: **_Ha-ha! Things are getting fun for our little Tweek. I have elaborated a bit on the original story, in case you haven't noticed. So if you have actually read "Rumors at South Park High" and are expecting about the same plot, expect something different. I have other ideas for this story. _

_I am thrilled that this story is getting the attention it is. Thank-you so much for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy it. I also hope it keeps you on your toes like the last one seemed to have done. _

_Please review. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Gossip Is His Coffee**

**Chapter 3: Close Your Eyes and Bite Your Tongue**

**Disclaimer: South Park was created and written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I did not come up with these characters that I am using. The idea of this story was originally done by ****Paperleaf****. Their story that this is based off of is, "Rumors at South Park High". Please, go check out their story, it's awesome. And read some of their other stories as well. I like their stuff.**

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**~…~**

Friday came and I was sitting between Craig and Clyde on the airplane, anxiously awaiting take off. My worries were endless, it seemed. However, I was doing a decent job at keeping my mouth shut so I wouldn't annoy my neighbors. I was psyched to be going to Denver. And I was also planning on getting drunk while I was there – unbeknownst by my parents. I needed to let loose. It had been several months since my last beer and I was in need of one badly. I was almost positive that Kenny's idea of a party was lots of alcohol, noisy music, and tons of junk food. And, yes, I did base this theory off of the last party he threw that I attended.

"Tweek, are you all right?" Craig leaned over, looking at me worriedly. I nodded, confused. "Sorry. It's just…I expected you to be freaking out already, you know? You're usually taking opportunities like this to freak out and since you're not, it kind of made me wonder." He grinned sheepishly and looked out the window quickly as the plane slowly started moving. I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, and gripped the armrests desperately. "Whoa…" Craig breathed from next to me. I assumed that he was amazed at the view but I couldn't look – I was too busy trying not to die.

**~…~**

**:**

**~…~**

When we arrived in Denver, we went to get our stuff and meet up with Kenny's aunt and uncle. We didn't go to a hotel, like I'm sure everyone – including myself – had been expecting. We went to their "house". House doesn't even begin to explain what that place was like. It was more of a mansion and I wondered what Kenny's uncle was doing that earned him this much money. Despite the size, we were partnered up and stuck in rooms. I was paired up with Craig. We all got settled and then we went down to _a freaking banquet_! Kenny's uncle said that it was "dinner". But like most things he said, it meant something bigger.

"Dinner" was extremely noisy. And when it was over, we had dessert. _Oh my fucking god_; whoever cooked for those people, I worshipped! I was almost afraid of what kind of food I'd wake up to find tomorrow. After all that, we basically lounged around in the game room and watched TV for awhile. Somewhere between then and bed, Craig and Cartman made some sort of bet involving a game of pool. It ended with Cartman streaking and maids screaming. Everyone was exhausted by ten. I crawled into bed and stared at my wall groggily.

"Tweek?" Craig whispered, sounding dazed. "This is going to be awesome, isn't it?"

"No fucking shit, Sherlock," I muttered sarcastically. He chuckled softly and then it was silent. I sighed and fell asleep.

**~…~**

**:**

**~…~**

It was party night. Kenny broke out the alcohol and Clyde pulled out the cd's he'd brought. The great room was vibrating with the bass from the noisy music and all my friends screaming and talking. I think I was on my fifth beer at that point. I guess you can never get too uptight about being fancy otherwise I would've been drinking wine or something to that affect – at least, I think so. I was getting wasted and I could hear Craig laughing at me but I just didn't care. I was having a blast. And I'd been right. I had almost completely forgotten Anonymous – almost.

The music was at its loudest, the kids were all getting wasted and I was too loose. I sauntered up to Kyle and Butters, the only two sober teens there, and started talking with them. Kyle was trying hard not to laugh. I must have sounded ridiculous. I just didn't care though. I had no emotions except for joy…Until I said the unsay-able. "So you know that Anonymous guy? The one who's always writing those stupid articles about crap?" I asked them and they nodded, suddenly more curious than they had been before. "Yeah, well, I'm Anonymous." Their eyes went wide and Kyle went red-faced. "It was just for fun, you know? I was getting fed up with everyone saying shit about each other so I decided to do everyone a favor. And I totally needed to vent, right?"

"You…You're drunk. You're just making this up to freak us out," Kyle snapped, his face still red and he looked away. "Cut it out, Tweek."

I laughed loudly. "You're just scared that I'll make something up about you being here. I only call 'em as I see 'em." I chuckled softly. "Although, that one about you and Stan, Kyle…Who knew that I'd be so close…"

"You!" Kyle screamed angrily and Butters jumped out of his seat, urgently trying to escape his wrath. "You were the idiot in the library!" I grinned. "And the one who wrote that dumb article about me and Stan?!" I nodded. "You jack-ass!" At this point, his screaming attracted a lot of attention and the music quieted a little as people wandered over to see what was going on. Not everyone was as drunk as me and that's why I later regretted getting so drunk. "I can't believe you! And on top of that, you've been _lying _to us and your other friends!"

And then the guilt hit me. Through the haze of pure bliss, I felt the guilt and stupidity of my choice. "They were just a bunch of rumors – it's not like you've never heard them before…" I tried to reason, my voice slurred.

"Yeah but not from a friend." Kyle glared at me, looking close to tears. "You're a liar, Tweek. You've been lying to us for, what, a year or so today?" I started losing my balance and I tried to regain it without looking like I was trying to escape him. "So this is like a holiday for you, a celebration of what you've accomplished, huh?" And then he did cry and I started to back away. He was right; this was like a holiday for me – a break, if you will. I was horrified by not only his words but of my own thoughts.

"Jeez, Tweek," Butter muttered, looking crushed. "I went through a lot of shit because of you and I only say it like that because it's true. I can't believe…" He paused; looking like a light went off above his head. "Wait, I actually can believe that you'd do that."

"What's going on?" Stan finally asked, glancing between the three of us who were staring at each other.

"TWEEK TWEAK IS ANONYMOUS!" Kyle shouted and I cringed as everyone turned to look at me – or rather, glare at me. What a nightmare this had turned out to be and I knew that I should have seen it coming. I was stupid for coming here; I should have stayed home with my parents and the few kids who hadn't gotten invited. But now that the biggest mistake of my life had been put out there, I couldn't go back. I couldn't fix this.

~…~

Four days later

~…~

I walked to school miserably, kicking a pebble lazily. I would never touch any kind of alcohol ever again. None of my friends had talked to me all weekend – not even Craig. I was so afraid to go into school today because I was scared of the reaction I'd get from everyone else. Everyone would be mad at me and I'd get even more shit from people I barely knew. I arrived at the building but didn't go in right away. I stared at the door as people passed me, shoving me as they passed or yelling snide remarks in my direction. I already felt like shit, I didn't need other people adding to that.

Finally, I walked into the building. One glance at the table that I usually went to every morning told me that I wasn't welcome there. I shuffled to my locker and gathered my books dejectedly. I stared at the back of my locker and then sat on the floor in the hall, going through a notebook I had. I found the picture of Craig Butters had drawn a year ago and ripped it from the notebook. I put my things on the ground and then rummaged through some of the things in my locker until I found the tape. I pulled a piece off and then taped the picture to the back of my locker.

It was depressing – to know that my best friend hated me. I bit my lower lip as I tried not to cry. I slammed my locker shut and picked up my things. There wasn't a teacher around to tell me to "respect school property" so I kicked the locker below mine and laughed as I ran down the hall toward my first class.

By lunch, I knew that if anything was going to happen, it was that everything was going to get worse than they already were. I didn't even attempt to go sit with my "friends" but instead went and sat in the hall. Usually, the punks sat out there but today it was clear. Glumly, I figured that they were giving me somewhere to sit. I sank down to the floor and leaned against the wall, looking at my packed lunch despondently. I knew that I had messed up and I knew that I had to pay for that now.

"Tweek," someone said above me and I looked up, startled. Standing in front of me was Christophe. "So, you're Anonymous, are you?" I nodded grudgingly and he crouched down in front of me. I stared at him, surprised. "And why are you sitting out here by yourself?"

I was reluctant to answer – my friends had always told me that the French boy was either dangerous or "bad news" – but he was the only person talking to me now. "Because none of my friends want anything to do with me," I told him bitterly, folding my arms across my chest. "Everyone hates me because of the stupid things I said about them."

He was silent for a moment before he nodded, as if he understood. He rocked back until he was sitting in front of me. "Interesting predicament you've gotten yourself into, Tweek." We both quietly stared at each other until he smiled suddenly and got up. "Lucky you, you might have a friend in this business because I don't hate you." Christophe tapped the toe of his shoe on my leg playfully before he walked away. I watched him go and then picked up my lunch bag and pulled out one of the snacks in it. I was curious as to what he had meant by that. I now knew that he didn't hate me but what did he mean by that "might have a friend in this business" comment? I sighed and ate my lunch uneasily.

~…~

:

~…~

Friday.

I stared at my paper in frustration. I didn't understand any of it and I was getting irritated by that. I was about to ask for help when the bell rang. I sighed and gathered my things, deciding that I'd just ask one of my parents to help me figure it all out. I was getting out of my seat when Clyde passed me. He glanced at me briefly before he grabbed my shoulder. With no choice in what was going to happen, he pulled me toward him and then shoved me, letting go as I teetered to one side. I let out a yelp as I toppled into the desk next to me. He started laughing and then the other kids in the room laughed along with him. My shoulders hurt, my head ached and now my knee was throbbing along with my elbow.

I pushed myself up and caught my breath before I could start crying. When that was under control, I stood up and hurried from the room before anymore "accidents" could happen. A kid walking out slowed down enough that he could shove me into the door frame but neither of us stopped walking. I was getting used to this. Walking down the halls was dangerous but standing in a classroom was worse. Wherever there were people, there was an accident waiting to happen. So I was always trying to be safe. Usually it was in vain but a little effort helped every once in awhile.

The only thing that I wanted at this point was my friends back. It was hard to walk around school when everyone hated me – even the people I'd grown up with since the fourth grade. And it was extremely lonely.

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_**A/N: **__The only reason I'm posting this one while it's so short is because I want to save some of my ideas for the next chapter so it doesn't seem so rushed – even though I realized how rushed this looks. I started this for fun and now I actually have to work on it. (lol) I'm good at it, I just don't want to. So, this chapter will be short…er than the others because I have more ideas for the next! Whoo! _

_Please review. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: See What You Did?**

**Disclaimer: South Park© was created and written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I did not come up with these characters that I am using. The idea of this story was originally done by ****Paperleaf****. Their story that this is based off of is, "Rumors at South Park High". Please, go check out their story, it's awesome. And read some of their other stories as well. I like their stuff.**

**Author's note: **_I apologize for the wait and I also apologize if this chapter seems rushed or poorly written. I hope you enjoy anyway._

**~…~**

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**~…~**

Christophe caught me before school on Thursday, two weeks after my "confession". School had been torturous for the past week because everyone had decided just to ignore me. It really hurt because most of them I had known since the fourth grade. But as Christophe dragged me out of the school and to the side of the building, I noticed how happy he seemed. It almost scared me but I couldn't stop hoping.

For two weeks, I'd been all alone and no someone was attempting to talk to me – or at least, that's what I was assuming. He pushed me against the brick wall rather roughly and I gasped in surprise. I nodded, a bit taken aback by the intensity in his voice. "I have a proposal and you don't have to answer now – I can wait. But at least hear me out."

I nodded again. "Alright…What is it?" He backed away and started pacing. I tilted my head a little, curious. "Christophe…?" I mumbled nervously. Oh how I wished that I had a cup of coffee right about now… He glanced at me, his eyes crazed, and I backed further into the wall.

"I know that the one thing you want the most right now is for everyone to notice you again. I am also seeking notice from someone. Do you know what the one thing that would make them acknowledge your existence is? If someone were to…say, date you." Immediately, I tensed up. Was he really going to propose what I was afraid he would? "And they'd react to this because it means that someone is paying attention to you."

He casually walked up to me. "And since I'm the only one who doesn't hate you…" Christophe slid one pale finger down the side of my face and, despite the fear that overwhelmed me, my body reacted with a shiver. "Just consider it. It won't even be a real relationship. You might catch the attention of…oh, say, Craig. And perhaps some of your other friends as well…"

With this, he slipped his finger under my chin for just a brief moment before withdrawing it and walking away. My heart thudded in my chest. Date Christophe? I wasn't so sure. Yes, it would probably scare my friends enough that they'd want to talk to me again. But that could take awhile and how long was he proposing that I pretend? I bit my lower lip as I thought. He was right, my friends _would _notice me if I started dating him, no matter how fake the relationship may be. Still…Just the thought of having to touch him – kiss him – kind of repulsed me. But weren't my thoughts just warped because of what my friends had told me?

So, at that point, what could it hurt?

The ball rang, startling me. I jumped and ran around the school, hurrying to get to my first class.

~…~

:

~…~

At lunch, I was feeling extremely nervous. My blood pressure was probably not doing all that well and I felt like I was going to be sick. Instead of taking my normal place in the hall, I pissed off a few people by taking an empty table by the back of the cafeteria. Now, I am a very paranoid and impatient person – in case no one noticed. Waiting to see Christophe took a major hit to my paranoia and impatience, testing to see if I was serious about this. In fact, I'm sure that's what he had in mind, making me sit through part of lunch with several glares being sent in my general direction.

However, I thought that I was doing fairly well as I hadn't broken down yet. Maybe it was partially because I was still going through my options. So far, I'd only come up with two options: Pretend to date Christophe or continue to be ignored. Choice number one was sounding particularly nice. And that's why I was still sitting in the lunchroom, my stomach churning and my heart throbbing so hard I could hear it pulsing in my ears. I kept my eyes away from my friends and everyone I had ever spoken to, keeping them focused on the table in front of me, while I waited.

"You're not in the hall…" Christophe said from above me and I looked up to see him smiling. "Have you reached your verdict that quickly?" I nodded and he sat down next to me. I could feel the glares turn to stares.

"I think that you're right," I told him, trying to keep as much fear out of my voice as I possibly could. I continuously reminded myself that I only thought of him the way I did because of my old friends. "I'd like to try it. What are the conditions – like when would it end and all of that?"

He stared at me rather blankly for a moment before smiling again. "The relationship would end when Craig kisses you." And that's when I realized my mistake. Craig…_kissing _me?! In my freaking dreams! "And it would only be then because I'm doing this for you. We'd act as though we were in a real relationship, everything anyone would do." So that meant kissing. Well, what a better way to change my opinion of him, right? "And no matter what…don't tell anyone what goes on beyond what they see."

I covered my shivers with twitches. The way he said it kind of horrified me. I nodded and, in response, he kissed me. Okay, so he wasn't as bad a kisser as I'd expected and I don't even know why I expected that – he's _Christophe_! It wasn't even that bad, having to kiss him. Could the fake relationship be that bad? Even after what he'd said about how I couldn't tell anyone about what goes on with us, could it really be that bad? He seemed…happy as he stared at me after the kiss. Better than that, I realized something: My friends would notice me in no time.

The only thing left that I'd have to consider is how to get Craig to kiss me when he thought that I was dating Christophe. Maybe that would be the impossible part…

~…~

:

~…~

I clicked on my radio when I got home, dropping my backpack on my bed. I let myself get consumed by the music as it screamed at me. Today had been kind of hectic – between working through the details with Christophe in my head and the work I had to do in school, that is. I needed about five minutes just to relax. My head was overflowing with things to think about. And, yet, I didn't want to think about any of it. Tomorrow was the _official _day for me and Christophe to start dating. I wasn't exactly dreading it but I wasn't excited for it either.

I dropped heavily onto my bed, kicking off my backpack despite the fact that I knew I'd put it there for some reason or another. I just stared at my clock with an empty feeling in my chest. The only thing that scared me now was the things that would happen between Christophe and me when no one was looking. Would they be bad or…worse than just bad? I doubted that anything good could come of that when he'd sounded so serious and almost threatening. I shook my head. Maybe I was just thinking too hard about this. Maybe I just needed to relax.

So I did…And I ended up falling asleep, too.

~…~

THE NEXT DAY

~…~

"What the…?"

"I can't believe this!"

"Is he crazy?"

Yes, these were the sort of things I heard while walking down the halls holding Christophe's hand. I was a bit surprised that people were already noticing me again. He'd been right after all; just one person being around me was enough to freak out the whole school. And I found this to be rather amusing as well. Sadly, my friends hadn't noticed me though. Maybe it was because we had walked into the school from the back instead of the front like I usually did. Nonetheless, it was disappointing.

I was convinced, however, that it would only be a day or two before they noticed how _not _lonely and miserable I was. This would be why I was so happy, despite having to hold Christophe's hand so convincingly. Everyone could believe that I was smiling because of him but I was smiling because they were all looking at me. I doubt that they'd realized how long two weeks had felt to me. They had felt like a freaking month. And now I was getting attention again. I was going to soak it all up before they got too bored with this.

"This is insane."

"That's wrong."

"Doesn't he realize who he's _with_?"

_Just smile like you're enjoying his company,_ I told myself, snickering at people's comments as they passed by.

~…~

:

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**Author's Note: **_Hurray, I finally got this part finished. And, no, it's not as long as I'd anticipated. But I wanted to get something out already. The fun will begin shortly – as if this wasn't enough fun. Despite how short it is, I do hope you liked it. HOPEFULLY, this time I won't promise anything, the next chapter will be longer. _

_Please review?_


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